Screw Ups

Mhmm my life is spiraling in different directions. One day, I can get beat up and never see you again and the next day all seems happy again. Let's see if I can remember this week of my life so far. Tuesday couldn't be more horrible. I got into the biggest fight with my sister and haven't heard from her since. She cursed me out, beat me up, went attacking each other, and left the house crying. I just sat in my room texting Natalie of what happened. To be honest, I was shocked I wasn't in tears because my sister means more to me then life itself. You'd understand everything if I told you ever single detail that we went through together. "Your never did anything for me. You stubborn and been mad shady towards me. I feel like you only love me when I buy you things. Just because you don't want things your way doesn't mean grandma has to pay for it." She said this through tears and in my mind I kept saying "I can't believe you just went there" Yeah she went there. "Why can't Yarei make plans with me? Why is it you? Me and her are the same age and she blows me off and she makes plans with my little sister." She just wouldn't shut up and kept pointing out my flaws. Finally she made the gesture that she wanted to hit me. "What you want to hit me?" "yeah." "Come up the stairs aren't stopping you." She did. Came upstairs slammed me against the wall and cut up my back and hit me right in the jaw and I pushed her and slammed her against the wall and choked her. "Want to hit me again go ahead and try you can barely breathe right now." She pushed me off and and my dad stopped it. She went grabbing my hair and I pulled her down with me and started pounding her in the face but not hard because I can't hit the people I love and mess up her face. I love her to much, I honestly do but she doesn't know. She just got up and left in tears and I stayed in my room texting Natalie.

Wednesday, I had to pretend everything was fine considering the fact it was the day my grandma died 4 years ago and it was Chrissy's birthday. Wednesday was just a blur and I really just went to track and stayed home without talking much to anyone.

Thursday, I went to track, showered and went to Skylar with Danielle and met up with a group of people. It was entertaining. Went back to Danielle's waiting for my dad to come pick me up and I left and slept.

Friday, was a lot. I went to track came home talked on aim with Morgan while sending her pictures of me and Marcos from Jesse's sweet 16 showing her the lighting of it then met up with Sylvia, Katie,& Cinthia. We started out by blasting music in the car which made me happy. Brittany texted me saying what I was doing and I said the mall and she said I want to go to see you so I'm going to try to meet up with you and hang out with you. That never happened. I basically hung out with Sylvia,Katie,Mikey(:, and Christian at some point. I was talking to Christian catching up on old times and we had a good time. We all walked to Exxon gas station and me and Christian was just watching the traffic go by relaxing our selves and tried throwing punches at each others faces while hearing Sylvia,Cinthia and Katie sing loudly. We got cold and started walking to the mall. On the way back, Me and Christian were talking about the WinterBall. "Christian, are you going to the WinterBall?" "No, why are you?" "I want to but I'm not sure yet..." "I'll go if you'll be my date." "Stop playing?" "No, seriously, I'll go if you'll be my date." "Fine." I went back inside the mall and saw Jordan she gave me the best/weirdest hug ever it was funny. She hugged me tight then kept squeezing me every 2 seconds and it felt weird on my neck and laughed afterwards. Saw Danie and Valerie. Then I ran up to Valerie and attacked her with a hug then Morgan asked for a hug. Met a girl named Michelle. Mikey came and hugged me. Went outside with him and Sylvia and Katie. We walked to Votec and chilled in the dugout. We played music and got high. Katie and Mikey and Sylvia tried to jerk and Katie fell and me and Sylvia started laughing non-stop. Mikey said let's have a jerk off. It made us piss ourselves. Went back inside the mall and ate pizza. Everyone seemed pissed. Hung out with Mikey the whole night and went shopping with him. Tried on some pants that I wanted and Michelle was with me and I came out the dressing room and she gasped "Holy shit! You look so ho in those pants. Your so pretty. Please tell me your going to buy them?" Pants were $34. Mikey left and we hugged tightly. He picked me up. Chill dudee haha. Texted Chrissy still high, saying let's burn :p my eyes were heavy but I was hyper at the same time. I wanted her to come see me but realizing the time it was getting late and it was impossible for her and crystal and other people they were picking up to make it to the mall before I left. Hung out with more people and then went to Barnes and Nobel's with Morgan , Valerie, Michelle and Dalia. "Michelle you might as well come out as your gay." "But I'm not I'm straight!" "Sure you are, that's why you were all over Natalia" Me and Valerie just laughed. Michelle was blowing a balloon and I said that's going to pop and it did and me and Valerie stayed together while everyone else ran and pretended we weren't with them when the people that worked in Barnes and nobles were looking for them. Meanwhile Morgan texted me saying seeing the pictures of me made her happy and I was really pretty. I didn't reply. Went home and I got a text from Valerie saying she likes me...oh God...then Valerie texted me again crying because Morgan told her she likes me to....great....i texted Valerie and told her are you mad that she likes me or mad that you can't be with her and she said both. I told her straight up I wouldn't go out with Morgan.

Saturday, I woke up for practice and I felt good. After practice that's when it hit me. I felt like shit. I was in my room started to sweat and felt like i was going to puke. Valerie was texting me and I got annoyed and it lead to a fight because she told me to have fun with Morgan. What's that supposed to mean? Valerie told me that Morgan said we're supposed to hang out. If you want to make your ex-girlfriend jealous don't use me as an excuse. Valerie started flipping out and then told me some stuff I don't want to repeat and it made me really mad and I stopped texting her.

"You can be prettiest thing I've seen or the biggest bitch in the world..."

nataliaa_ericaa