I think I've been falling...

I wish it was easy to open up and tell people how you really feel.But once again,I can't.I don't know why.I can't explain it.I'm not scared,or maybe I'm afraid of the outcomes or the reactions of others.

Lately,I've been doing a lot to get things off my mind.I feel like if i don't do anything soon,I'd just be curled up in my room crying.Ugh,Can't think about how close he is to his own death.

Anyways,me doing a lot.When don't I do a lot?Mostly been hanging out with friends and staying after school for Powder Puff.A lot has happen.You get those texts that put a smile on your face and wish you could be with the person right now.We've been hanging out a lot.

"Well you're a very cute girl.Looks and personality wise"

"It would make me unexplainable happy to spend the night with you"

Sometimes,I wish everything in life could be this simple.Cute things,no drama,no tears.Everything good.Now,I laugh 24/7.I smile 24/7.I haven't been like this for awhile.I was dragged down to a dark hole where I felt everything is crashing down on me.

"you smell like life"

"How does that smell like?"

"Everything wonderful(:"

I lay my head on my pillow,tired, but with a smile on my face.There are nights when everything is peaceful and there are nights when I wake up screaming and crying.I see her in my dreams, but she's not in this world anymore.4 years went by and I still see her.I'd look at my phone to come myself down and see if i have text messages from anyone.

"Your still way to cute and amazing for life(: There's nothing to prove.Your just a very beautiful, sweet girl with a bright smile and a cute little voice.You should come over and nap with me and stuffs:p"

I wish I could.I'd feel safe and nothing could go wrong.My nightmares would go away because you protect me and hold me close to you.So close,I can hear your heartbeat.You stroke my back until I fall asleep and I feel safe.

Safe...like nothing can go wrong.

nataliaa_ericaa